When we hear about someone who has suffered a loss, we typically consider how we might help that person or their family. Whether or not you are close to the person who has died, you will almost certainly consider sending a condolence letter. It may not seem like much, but letting the person or people who are grieving the loss of a loved one know that you are thinking about them may provide some consolation.
Elements of a Letter of Condolence
When you consider writing a condolence letter, keep in mind that you'll be writing more than just a sympathy note. People who write and send these letters are usually closer to the individual who has suffered a loss, and they may even know the person who has died. There is no set format for composing a letter like this, but there are some key aspects that will help it be effective. You can employ all of these aspects in your work or only a portion of them.
- Recognize the loss and use the deceased person's name when referring to them. You don't need to employ ambiguous phrases or statements to hide the fact that there was a loss because the recipient already knows. Instead, acknowledge the loss and try to console them with words of encouragement to help them cope with the difficult situation. It's a wonderful idea to send your condolences, as well as any lovely things you recall about the dead and your favorite memory of him or her. After that, you can continue to remind the receiver of his or her strengths and how they might be used to help them get through this difficult time.
- Provide a certain type of assistance to the bereaved. Consider realistic and concrete ways you might assist the individual to whom you are writing the letter. Whether it's as easy as delivering snacks to the wake or as complex as handling transportation for the funeral, it would undoubtedly be of great assistance to the deceased's family and would be greatly appreciated.
- Finish your letter with a heartfelt wish or a sincere expression of sympathy. Instead of a single word, use a phrase or a sentence to make it seem more personal and genuine.
- If you don't want to go through the trouble of writing a letter, you can put a brief remark on a sympathy card instead. The content on these cards is normally pre-written, and all you have to do is add to it. Here are some suggestions for writing a sympathy card:
- When you're in the store, go through the many cards and choose the one that you believe best fits the situation and the receiver. Make sure the card is acceptable for the occasion and avoid selecting one with a humorous or inappropriate message.
- When you're writing on the card, provide your entire name so the receiver knows who you are and how you knew the deceased person. If you didn't know the deceased person personally, send the card to someone you know who is related to or knows someone who knows someone who knows someone who knows someone who knows someone who knows someone who knows someone who knows someone who knows someone who knows someone who knows someone who knows someone who knows someone who knows someone who knows someone who knows someone who knows someone
- When writing on your card, make sure to use proper spelling and language. If desired, write your message first on a scrap piece of paper, have it checked, and then duplicate it onto the card.
- In your message, express your feelings and share any nice recollections you have of the dead.
- Write a brief phrase explaining what kind of assistance you'd like to provide to help the family cope with the difficult circumstance they're in. The level of assistance you would provide would be determined by how close you are to the receiver.
- You don't have to be "generic" because the circumstance is unpleasant or upsetting. You are free to personalize your card or message in any way you see fit, as long as it is appropriate.
- Finally, mail or give your condolence card to the person you're sending it to at the appropriate moment, such as at the wake or funeral, so that your words of comfort can still make an impact.
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